I am afraid I have to join the thousands, maybe even millions, of writers who have started a column with a Bob Dylan lyric.
But first I have to tell you that the sole purpose of this column is to the throw the editorial weight of this column behind Rick Santorum in his bid to be the Republican 2012 presidential candidate, but more on that later. First to set the stage, which requires the use of the aforementioned Dylan lyric. And unfortunately I am not even going to pick one of the lesser known ones. No, I am about to launch this column with the very familiar line, the times they are a’changin’. I humbly beg your apology for falling back on this much used truism, but the fact is that is true and how. The world we live in looks nothing like the one I grew up in and promises to look nothing like the one my children are growing up in. It feels like history is either going to bring one of its cycles full circle or shoot off into a whole different path. We are either going to return to our roots or grow into something completely different. Part of this feeling is caused by the presidential campaign of course. Since 1992 every election has been touted as the most important in a generation and for the most part they all have been. This is because America has to choose between liberalism and conservatism. The two can no longer coexist. One of these ideologies must defeat the other and the main field this battle is being fought on is in the government, mostly because it has already been decided in the arts and academia. And this is why every election is so critical as of late, the stakes really are very high and will be until one idea beats the other. Obviously the philosophical girders of The Revolting Man are extremely conservative, to the point of liberalism in some cases, and most conservative elites are claiming that is vital to deny President Obama a second term. To this end they are urging conservatives to coalesce behind a consensus candidate that they have deemed to have the best chance to defeat Obama in the general election, Mitt Romney. I reject that line of reasoning from its premise onward. The first priority is to defeat liberalism, the ideology of death. While Obama is certainly the most pure liberal to ever take the White House, he is not liberalism itself or even its most dangerous purveyor. I want to make myself very clear, I do not believe Mitt Romney when he claims to be a conservative. He was a “moderate Republican” his entire life before seeking national office when he quickly and conveniently converted on social issues. He was raised in Washington power circles, he lived in Washington power circles and he will be unable to resist the pull of those power circles on him if he is elected. The White House under Mitt Romney will not sound or act substantially differently under Mitt Romney than it has under Obama. A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for conservatism to get blamed when liberalism fails. And liberalism is headed for a gigantic failure. In fact I almost despair that it can be prevented at this point. But if it is to be prevented then it must be done so by the unabashed, unapologetic trumpeting of conservative ideals. I believe two candidates, three before the Perry withdrawal, are capable of that right now. Newt is a strong candidate and his passion and eloquence are very persuasive. I could easily support him. Rick Santorum however brings with his consistency and sense of decorum a gravitas that I think a president needs. His conservative credentials are impeccable on social issues and while he may have brought some bacon home to Pennsylvania while he was in the Senate, he was by no means a serious offender. So I urge voters in South Carolina to get behind Rick Santorum. He has run a clean campaign on a shoe string budget and I believe he would make a good president.
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Here at The Revolting Man we strive to be revolutionary. While others are looking left, we look right and vice versa. It is here that we hope you find that perspective, that bit of commentary, that story that you don’t get anywhere else.
For instance, this week the whole of the country was talking about one of two things;Tim Tebow or the 2012 presidential primary. So of course one would assume The Revolting Man, in a never ending quest to be revolutionary, would not discuss either. And you would be correct, because today we will be discussing Tim Tebow AND the 2012 presidential primary, so as to be both revolutionary and relevant. Of course The Revolting Man would never just state his opinion on Tim Tebow (wonderfully inspiring and humbling) and the 2012 presidential primary (vaguely disturbing and worrisome). It must needs be accompanied by some obscure analogy and to illuminate some obvious but overlooked truth of the world of men, and that dear reader is no mean feat. Especially as there is almost nothing The Revolting Man can add to a purely technical discussion of football or related topics. As an avowed baseball man he finds football a little too straightforward to offer much diversion. It seems the bigger, faster team will invariably win and that most contests of the kind can reasonably be predicted at the outset. There are times though when the storyline can add drama and interest to an otherwise two dimensional sport. In the case of the 2012 presidential primary that would have been the now politically departed and greatly lamented Herman Cain who unfortunately will not be mentioned in this column again, even the parts that are about the 2012 presidential primary. In the NFL it is the marvelous Tim Tebow who is bringing the depth and heart which is largely lacking in politics. Tebow, as most readers will already know, was a legendary college quarterback. He led his Florida Gators to two national championships while winning a Heisman Trophy and breaking multiple records, but his move to the NFL was not as seamless as his college career would suggest. For many reasons he was not predicted to perform well at the next level and was dismissed and some would say disrespected by some NFL-ers and the sports press. Nevertheless, Tebow has proven to be a resilient winner while maintaining an air of professionalism, maturity and for lack of a better word, groundedness. It’s been a very impressive display of character, judgment and discretion for a young man. The naysayers included well respected figures in his field and on his team. Despite that he maintained not only his dignity and humanity but his drive and confidence. The Revolting Man aspires to do as well in similar circumstances. In fact, Tebow represents everything that is good about sports. He is showing us who we could be, that strong character can and should accompany professional excellence. He is rejuvenating the once ubiquitous but now discredited concept of an American masculine ideal. Now here is where the 2012 presidential primary comes in. The Revolting Man realizes that in the midst of a truncated football season, immediately after the holidays and right before tax time, that most men are looking for some innocent escapism. We want to focus on Tim Tebow and his revival of the best that’s in all of us. We do not want to focus on 7 guys talking about the taxes we’re trying to ignore, national decline, foreign policy or forestalling the worst in all of us. And that is exactly what politics is all about. It is boring and dry and largely negative. We don’t think we can change anything and no matter which side we choose half the country will end up hating us. Meanwhile, Tebow requires nothing of us. You can love him or you hate him but either way it’s inconsequential. It doesn’t matter if Tebow wins or loses. It won’t affect your job or your kids. It won’t anger or mollify your wife. You won’t have to be embarrassed or worried at all. You can either revel in the fact that you were right or ruefully pontificate about why you were mistaken but there are no bad consequences. This is of course refreshing. Most men love to be able to focus our inner lives on the inconsequential; it’s a wonderful escape from the rest of our world. We can love or hate Tebow for whatever reason we want and never have another thought about it. Not so the 2012 presidential primary. It has huge import for our future and its players were not all likeable. The choices are not clear cut and the decision is going to have to be lived with. This is not appealing to men. It requires much of us. We must stick our necks out, make decisions and take stands. That can be a very uncomfortable place sometimes, at least when the decisions we stand on have very real consequences. As men we love making decisions and taking stands, when they don’t matter. That’s why sports and video games are so seductive; they fulfill that drive to feel purposeful and resolute without requiring us to purpose or resolve anything. So here’s the challenge men, get involved for real. We all love Tebow and there is definitely a place for mental rest and relaxation, but after the work is done. The work to be done right now is to pick a candidate, make your choice known and try to sway others to your point of view. You see the revolting man is one who sees that while Tebow is a man of action, his exploits are to be enjoyed by men at leisure. If you are to be a man of action, you have to keep leisure in its place, take the risks, get out of your comfort zone and accomplish something, live a high stakes life of consequence. Then go enjoy Tebow. He’s a hell of a guy. Halloween brought a rare treat for the Revolting Man this year which is a little odd since he is not a big fan of the holiday.
It’s not that there is anything wrong with costumes and merriment and candy; these are wonderful things. It’s just that they lose some of their sweetness when coated with death. Nonetheless, the Revolting Family was trick or treating when they encountered a man who at first blush seemed a little ridiculous, but as with most things that seem ridiculous at first glance, this fellow proved to have something of the sublime about him. In the beautiful little town the Revolting Family lives in, it is customary for many people to trick or treat in the neighborhood where, not at all coincidentally, the more affluent reside. In fact, there were several hundred costumed people canvassing the area looking for any house with so much as a nightlight burning to indicate the possibility of some kind soul dispensing candy. If one had squinted hard it might have been possible to pretend that the whole event was an Occupy Wall Street offshoot, except the costumes were nowhere near scary enough and there weren’t as many treats, violations of hygiene and decorum or aging hippies. Instead the crowd was comprised of young families portraying all of the usual characters. Amidst this good-natured swarm was a large-ish man with several children, a wife, and a sister. But what was most noticeable was the flashlight, not that it was anything more than a normal flashlight. In fact it wasn’t even an exciting flashlight with LED bulbs or heavy aircraft aluminum construction. It was one of those old plastic, 2 D batteries, regular old, never work when you need them because the kids have been using them for light sabers, junk drawer flashlights. Except this one did work, it worked well enough that the dad in question was using it to further illuminate a street that was well lit enough to read on, even though it was well past twilight and there were far more bats, both real and of the costumed variety, out than robins, the real and costumed variety combined. And if the various streetlights, porch lights and said flashlights weren’t enough light, the extremely prepared father was also wearing a headlamp, which did come with an exciting array of LED lighting. The Revolting Man, who prides himself on his minimalist approach to all things but especially preparedness, couldn’t help but chuckle at the expense of the extremely prepared father. The man seemed so proud and excited to be protecting his family that he almost beamed as bright as his various lights. Of course not long after that the Revolting Family had to cross a deserted residential street. The Beloved Bride stopped all of the various progeny at the curb and turned to wait for the Revolting Man to stride into the street and make sure that it was indeed as empty as it seemed. He stood there with erect carriage, his glaring eyes in constant motion, searching for some car to magically appear and threaten his family. What he would have done if one had is anyone’s guess. But the point is he was there looking for, perhaps hoping for, some threat to emerge so he could spring into action and do battle on the behalf of his loved ones. On its surface it was much more ridiculous than the very bright father who had just been the unknowing bearer of the Revolting Man’s amusement. Even the Revolting Man couldn’t miss the humor in how he strode into a deserted street and dared non-existent cars to try and run him over. Nonetheless, as everyone arrived safely on the opposite side-walk, he expressed gratitude for the gift he has been given. Because in this safe, boring world we live in, the Revolting Man has an adventure just crossing the street, when anything could go wrong with disastrous results that ripple out and harm dozens of people. That father with all the lumens might be walking down a well lit and crowded street in a safe neighborhood in a friendly little town he grew up in but that doesn’t mean he isn’t the only barrier between the lives of everyone he holds dear and utter calamity. It may sound like a cliché or a joke, but it is not. When the comfort and well-being of others rests on your shoulders then all your actions are of consequence, your every decision is far-reaching and your every move is critical. The Revolting Man has sown some wild oats. He has traveled to the bright lights and in some dirty, dangerous places. But he never had a high stakes life of consequence until he had a family. Being reminded of that was a real treat. |
AuthorThe Revolting Man lives at the end of a dirt road at the bottom of a hill at the top of a valley in the foothills of the Appalachians. Archives
December 2016
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